Standardized Testing 2010

Students open your test booklets and answer documents to page ## (page numbers not listed for security purposes) Read the directions with me as I read them aloud. Does everyone understand? Complete the answers to the questions working until you see the STOP SIGN at the bottom of the page. When you finish raise your hand and I will pick up your test materials. Begin work now...

For the next two weeks at RMMS, we're doing the New Mexico Standards Based Assesment. This is the test that determines whether the teachers and students in our school system are performing at the level they should for their age (Annual Yearly Progress) and if they're not, then students are being left behind and the government will not stand to have it's students performing at different achievement levels and will take over your school. If the entire country was run this way, I believe it would be called (what's the word?) Oh yes, Socialist. The testing is highly structured with a strong focus on security, for example:

ABSOLUTELY NO...
talking
copying
sleeping
crying
posters on the wall that might help students
doors open
students in the hall
unscheduled/unsupervised bathroom breaks
eating
drinking
smiling
laughing
iPods
cell phones
cameras
computers
shirts untucked
smoking
thinking
hoping
wishing
dreaming
dancing
or creativity

during testing at all for ANY REASON.


Questions are to be answered in an Answer, Cite, Expand format. The student is to state the correct answer, cite where they found it, then expand on the answer with their own thoughts and observations. Sounds a bit like Larry King Live. The test booklets directing students to "Expand on that" from behind highly magnified glasses and a pair of strapping suspenders.


If students:

Complete all three parts they receive - 4 points.
Answer correctly, site correctly, don't expand - 3 pts.
Answer correctly, don't site or expand - 2 pts.
Answer incorrectly, do or don't site+expand - 1 pt.
Leave it blank - 0 pts.

So if you can bullshit your way through an answer you could receive as much or more credit as the person who just gets the thing done. I've never done a good job, paid a bill, got to work on time, or cooked a meal as an adult and had someone ask me, "Where did you obtain the ___(noun)___ to ___(verb)___ this ___(noun)___, and tell me your thoughts on ___(noun/verb)___"
Wait, yes I have. You know who I get this line of questioning from?
MY GRANDMOTHER. Not my boss, business partner, clients, debtors, or waiters. What usually works best is less talk, more action.


Individualized Instruction vs. Standardized Testing

Ladies & Gentlemen, in todays bout of deep understanding, theoretical comprehension, content application, and assesment of learning driven instruction, we have two seriously overestimated contenders. In the red corner, weighing in at worthless to everyone unless you want to produce a generation of helpless drones; Individualized Instruction.

Individualized instruction: curriculum content and instructional materials, media, and activities designed for individual learning. The pace, interests, and abilities of the learner determine the curriculum.

If you can't write, I won't make you write. You can speak instead. If you can't read, I won't make you read. I'll tell you instead.

Which translates to:

If you can't speak, I won't make you speak. We'll hire someone to translate for you or pay to have a sign printed in the language you speak. If you can't pay, I won't make you pay. I'll create a program that uses tax dollars to fulfill your needs. You do whatever you want, we'll make sure your taken care of.

If everyone is taught this way, and everyone ends up living on tax dollars, who is going to provide those dollars?

...and in the blue corner coming in at a modification shattering, tell us everything you know about everything you've learned and even if you don't know it put something anyway and we'll give you credit but don't cheat cause this test is the thing that will determine the quality of your entire life and no you can't use your notes; Standardized Testing.


Now that we've met everyone's indivdual needs for education so that they can be the best learners they can be, let's measure them all by

ONE

SINGLE

MEASURE.

No, no, no, for the test you CAN'T speak the answers. You MUST write them. I CAN'T tell you the question or answer. You MUST read it. It's like owning a restaurant, Welcome to McPublik's what can we get you? Then taking everyone's order, suited to their tastes, made just how they like it. Except when it comes time to eat, we only serve the McStandard with cheese. Take it or else. Hmmmmmmm.... does it smell like irony in here? The stench is going to be awefully bad when it leaves the classroom and enters US commerce, the US household, and starts reproducing.


Conclusion

"Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not..."

Thomas H. Huxley

Are we teaching our kids content? Or future work habits? In my experience it's work habits. I can't tell you what I learned in Mr. Bramlett's Algebra 2 class, or Mogford's Language Arts class, except that I had 5,000 better things to do and yet I HAD to go to their classes. I HAD to do 50 problems correctly or I didn't pass. I HAD to write a 10 page essay on Brutus vs. Caesar. Because of it, I know that I HAVE to pay my bills, I HAVE to feed my kids, and I HAVE to go to work. Under the current eductation system students believe that someone else will DO IT FOR THEM. If we ever want to get out of this recession, we'd better practice a little tough love. Failure to do so, in my opinion, will ultimately result in The Greater Depression.